Whispers in the Windstorm

California Pizza Kitchen: Unsatisfying at Any Speed

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 06:54:53 GMT

Let me tell you about my most recent trip to a CPK restaurant. Specifically, the CPK in Deer Park, Illinois.

My wife and I arrived around 8PM. My wife reached the hostess first, and received a rather unexpected reaction. The hostess looked up, made eye contact with her - and then resumed some form of animated conversation with her co-workers. It was only when my wife cleared her throat and resorted to -glaring- at the hostess that she broke off her conversation. It was no more than a momentary annoyance, to be sure. But this was an omen of things to come.

We were seated in ten minutes - a usual and expected delay for that time of night on a Friday. The server asked for our beverage orders - I ordered an iced tea, and my wife ordered a water with lemon. But we were then asked specifically if we wanted a spirit, to which we indicated we did not. I can understand some zeal in regard to selling these high-margin items - but in this day and age, is *pushing* alcohol consumption really appropriate? He returned with our drinks, and there was no lemon with the water. The iced tea had a lemon (part of the standard iced tea kit, apparently, as I also received a small rack of sugar packets). I simply gave her my lemon wedge, and we accepted the error. But this was an omen of things to come.

For our entree, I ordered the new Meat Cravers pizza, and my wife ordered "the garlic cream fettuccine with chicken". There was some crowd noise, and the server asked her to repeat herself. She replied, "Chicken with fettuccine." The server acknowledged this, and took our menus. Seeing that he was about to leave, I was forced to ask, "Is there still complimentary bread?" The server said there was and that he would bring us some. I was disappointed that I would not otherwise have received this relatively inexpensive and standard pre-meal item. Sure, times are tough - but that's exactly when service and courtesies like this are needed to retain the loyalty of customers. He brought the bread and we talked while our food was prepared. Another server brought our dinner - and my Meat Cravers pizza was indeed quite appetizing. However, he brought my wife a bowl of plain fettuccine with dry chicken slices on it. Something few people would order, and fewer would find actually appetizing.

So this concept, this idea that my wife wanted dry chicken and noodles, had spawned itself when the server took her order of chicken and cream sauce on fettuccine, or had introduced itself as a miscommunication between server and cook or second server and cook. Here is the bare pasta she received:

I don't say that NO ONE would order this, as it is a low-fat meal. But I would certainly think that if the server is going to push alcoholic beverages on people, there is a general lack of concern for "healthful eating" that would provoke the question of why the cream sauce was being withheld. I am surprised that all three employees failed this simple sight test and presented the plate to my wife without question or comment. She was not even asked if she'd ordered the chicken *tequila* fettuccine - the only other item on the menu with both chicken and fettuccine in it.

Needless to say, my wife called the server over after determining that there was no garlic cream sauce underneath the pasta, and told the server this was not what she ordered. The server apologized, and said he would bring us the cream sauce. He left the pasta dish on the table, and returned after about ten minutes' delay - while other customers in the restaurant received their meals. Sure, there were many customers in the restaurant - but to ask someone who has received poor service to sit and wait while she watches others being served is needlessly provocative and inflammatory.

The server brought us a ramekin on a saucer. Here it is:

The ramekin plainly contained garlic butter. No cream, no flour, no *ANYTHING* other than garlic butter.

This was INSULTING. The menu item is fettuccine in a white garlic CREAM sauce with chicken - plainly a variety of fettuccine alfredo. It is about as simple a sauce as can be imagined, and has a wide variety of applications. There is no reason why there should not be sufficient quantity of the sauce on-hand in the restaurant to provide for all dishes requested - and CERTAINLY no reason why more cannot be prepared on a contingency basis for problems such as this.

At this point, my wife was understandably upset by the whole affair. She called the server over and told him that she was no longer even interested in the suspect dish - and with her last vestiges of goodwill for the restaurant, ordered a pizza. The server told her he would see that the pizza was prepared as soon as possible, but then LEFT the offending pasta bowl on the table - apparently at this point too concerned with rushing to attend other customers to consider the consequences of leaving the evidence of poor service right on the table.

And this proved the fatal error. After a few minutes of staring at this glaring reminder of the staff's carelessness - and discussing with me that the garlic butter was *ridiculous* as an idea given what had been explained regarding the serving of the bare and dry chicken, my wife became alienated at the whole process. She could not rid herself of the idea that either the staff was so careless that the replacement pizza would also have problems, or that the double-complaint would mark her out as "a whiner" and that angry waitstaff might tamper with the food. I tried to reassure her that this was a somewhat unreasonable concern - but I kept coming back to being offered the garlic butter as cream sauce. We're not stupid.

So the kitchen manager came out to our table, and my wife asked for boxes for our pizzas. It was obvious she hadn't been able to bring herself to touch the pizza she'd been served. The kitchen manager mentioned that the restaurant manager was on medical leave, and offered his apologies and gave us a free piece of cheesecake. But he compounded our agitation by attempting to offer -excuses- for the evening's disappointments. Miscommunication among the staff, new people handling key positions, and the Friday night rush. These excuses made him appear defensive and even arrogant. The fact that the staff saw my wife couldn't even eat the pizza should have suggested the situation had moved beyond simple annoyance. A simple "I'm sorry this experience was so upsetting to you - let me cover your entree, so that you know we are sorry your meal here was unsatisfactory." would have been appropriate and appreciated. But no, he comes over and gives us a bill with both pizzas charged at full. To charge for a pizza that the staff KNOWS has been looked upon with so much suspicion as to be inedible is plainly inattentive.

I suggested, and my wife agreed, that we tip $0.02 as an unmistakable signal of our dissatisfaction. At this point, we may be willing to give the Schaumburg CPK a chance - but the unreduced bill was the final straw for our willingness to revisit the Deer Park location.

I do not wish anyone to lose their jobs over this incident. I suggest this situation can be prevented in future with a few simple steps:

1) Hire more people to cover dinner rush. One reason the staff were so distracted and inattentive was that they were darting from table to table. Less tables per server means better service, better tips and more repeat business.

2) Extend the training period for new hires. The art of meal service is NOT one that can be covered in a seminar. If the server had been more aware of both the restaurant's dishes AND the likelihood that someone coming to a CPK would order dry chicken on noodles, this whole situation could have been avoided. Invest in your staff, and it will be returned in customer satisfaction.

3) Ensure enough management personnel are on staff so that each area is properly and independently covered. The fact that the kitchen manager has to act as restaurant manager diminishes both areas. If a defensive coach has to coach offensive teams, you get poor offense AND poor defense. There is no difference here.

4) Widen the scale of the restaurant open spaces. This would help in reducing cross-traffic between servers and customers, which is a partial cause of server tension and server distraction - and therefore, server error.

If I have reason to believe that the situation at Deer Park has improved, I may visit the restaurant again - and if I find the service to be relaxed and attentive, I will certainly report so here, and make some attempt to convince my wife that the restaurant has seen the error of its ways. But right now, I cannot recommend the Deer Park restaurant to anyone reading these words. You, my friends, have been warned.

Tech Support Request

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 15:39:47 GMT

My computer has become the next thing to not talk to me. I.e., the sound is dead. I've reinstalled the sound device drivers, rebooted a LOT, and messed with the volume controls. No go. So, if you can help, I'd love to hear from you. Can you reconcile -

with

? It says the device is working perfectly, but that it doesn't exist at all.

JeffCon 2009: Eight Days Remaining

Thu, 28 May 2009 22:46:01 GMT

Just an informational post for those not on Facebook:

The Rules:

1: Shoes off at the door.

2: No booze, period.

3: No music games, period.

4: No presents. Your presence is your present.

5: Carpool when possible; parking gets full fast.

6: There is only one bathroom. If you think you gotta, take the first opportunity you can.

7: If you got 'em, smoke 'em on the balcony, and close the door behind you.

8: Train games are restricted to four players or less.

9: Please limit your cross-gaming - if you're in a game, stay with the game. It finishes faster when players can answer questions, and it feels more satisfying when everyone participates the whole way through.

10: The intersection of Lake-Cook and Hicks has a stopparazzi. Just so's you know.

11: Anyone I've met twice is invited. After that, I'd appreciate a call if strangers are going to come a'callin'.

12: The apartment is only so big. It hasn't happened yet, but I may at some point need to turn new guests away or to negotiate exchanges of people arriving and leaving.

Friday Schedule:

6PM: Doors officially open. (There will be one or two parties exempt from this minimum - they will be advised privately.) Maplescotchies will be served.

9PM: Super Smash Brothers Brawl tournament to award the Friday Night GoH Game Go! Shirt. (Yes, I'm my own guest of honor. I graciously accepted my invitation to appear.) I will play in the tournament, but cannot win the shirt. I may institute some level of gamerskill handicapping, if appropriate (and feasible).

Whenever: I get too tired and kick people out. WARNING: I have no crash space for in-town guests. (If you're an out-of-town guest, talk to me.)

Saturday Schedule:

9-FREAKING-A-M: The Saturday Breakfast at Walker's, in Palatine on Dundee. Please let me know by Friday if you plan to attend.

11AM: Game of Android starts, the Saturday GoH Game Go! competition. This seats five players - a lottery of interested players will be conducted if there are more than four applicants, with preference in said lottery to anyone who has downloaded the PDF of the rules from the Fantasy Flight website (or has otherwise read the rules in advance).

6PM: Dinner is served. It is spaghetti with meat sauce (in two spice levels) and either garlic bread or butter dips (a nice breadstick my Mom makes). Chinet will be used to facilitate all guests eating concurrently.

Whenever: I get too tired and kick people out.

Sunday Schedule:

12Noon: Game of Paranoia starts, with myself as GM. This is the Sunday GoH Game Go! competition. I will seat six players for the game, on a lottery basis. Those not selected for play may be asked to assist in GMing responsibilities, if willing.

6PM: A live-action version of the Cheapass Game GET OUT! will be conducted.

JeffCon 2009: Approaching Outer Marker

Mon, 18 May 2009 07:20:03 GMT

Snipped from my post to the Facebook page:

I can finally announce a long-awaited feature - prizes! Each day, there will be a Go Jeff GoH (Guest of Honor) event. For each event, there will be a prize T-Shirt naming the wearer as one of the generic types of gamer. I'm only spoiling the back of the shirt now - which is up in the pictures. Check it out!

Go Jeff GoH Video Game Friday: Super Smash Brothers Brawl tournament (basically unlimited)
Go Jeff GoH Board Game Saturday: Android (five players, Jeff running the game)
Go Jeff GoH Role-Playing Sunday: Jeff Runs Paranoia (for six players)
(or, in contingency, Jeff runs emergency Amber)

In addition, let's remind people of the Saturday breakfast at Walker's - which I think will be meeting at the Lake Zurich Walker's at 9AM. We *might* try for a second breakfast at Sweet Tomatoes Schaumburg, depending on mood and availability.

Day 5: And Then, It's All Over

Mon, 04 May 2009 23:07:51 GMT

We went down to the clubhouse to check out, but the manager is 'at a meeting'. They'll leave a note about our complaint and our question of recompensation, they said - yeah, right. I'm still annoyed ethically, but I don't think I'm tied to it emotionally any more.

Before we got on the highway, we stopped at the Black Bear Diner one last time - because when I went to get souvenirs, apparently the clerk left the pen on the desk. So I paid twice - but it's a cool bear pen. Rowwwhhhhr.

Drive to the airport is on a regular road, and not Space Mountain - so it was uneventful. Got off the highway to fill up the gas tank, and then dropped off the car at the Hertz window. Rode the shuttle bus back to the airport, cleared security, then stopped at the Burger King inside. (Noted that there were TWO Starbucks there.) Played some pass-n-play Scrabble until the flight boarded. It wasn't full, but it was pretty packed. We barely managed to hold onto our empty middle seat - we both leaned in and made it look inhospitable. I think I slept most of the way to Denver.

Denver's airport is weird. Kind of flat, with kind of a minimum of structure. There were peoplemovers right there next to the gate - they never do that. Kind of an airport-in-a-box. We saw separate buildings for a few of the airlines with their logos on them. Weird.

Last flight to Midway was uneventful, and quiet. We were both awake, so after the seatbelt light went off, I picked up my PSP and she picked up her new Sony Reader. Time flew fast.

One comment here, though - Chicago is freaking huge. Once we got in the area, there were networks of lights all the way to the horizon. Every way the plan turned, it looked like a flat version of a Christmas tree. Urban sprawl is far more effectively observed from the air. It was really kind of staggering, how big Chicago is.

Our luggage made it intact - each of us had one souvenir break on us, but it was all small stuff and mostly fixable. My Dad, bless his heart, drove out to pick us up at 11PM - and that after his getting up at 5:30AM on Monday to drive us out there. He's a gem, he is.

Home felt good - not the special and exotic good of the resort, but the familiar and reassuring good of home. Home-home, not resort-home.

I post-dated some of the links to match the dates we did things - so in case you missed them, here is a list of all the journal entries:

Vacation Prep
Day 1-2
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4

Not gonna do some lame 'what we learned' thing - so trite. But it was really fun, and I look forward to our next vacation. Which I think we're slating for 2011 or so. :D

Day 4: You Know, Maybe It Isn't Dead

Sun, 03 May 2009 00:44:59 GMT

Our saga last spoke of an upcoming trip today. Myra took one last stop at the beach - and failed her saving throw against tidal forces by an even wider margin. She comes back with wet ankles. She asked me if she smelled bad - I said she smelled "earthy". She laughed, but only a little. We showered, lathered in sunblock, finished a second bear claw (yum!), and loaded up for a day's photographic adventure. And...

WE GOT JACKED. AGAIN.

Now the only club cart outside our room is the one plugged into the wall. So we sigh, we grumble, and we get in. Oh look, only one bar out of - what, eight? TEN? Sheesh. (Some of the reviews for Sanctuary Resort say that people just drive the golf carts around - sort of the seniors version of joyriding. This is most certainly NOT true, as the resort layout is sort of a knot of twisty ramps and roads that mostly look alike. And so I credit the folks next door as not only arrogant snobs, but I'm also calling them so stupid that it took them 90% of a club cart's batteries to get from the front of the resort to the back.

Anyway, we turn over the tired old cart and I shrug off the frustration, because I'm on a quest for pasalubong! We're on our way to the Winchester Mystery House. It's a famous mansion built in the early 1900s by the widow of the owner of the Winchester Arms Company - the company that made the Winchester Rifle that either won the West or killed it, depending upon your point of view. Anyway, to make a long story short, she took a six-room farmhouse and built it up over thirty years to make it 160 rooms - many of which aren't finished. (Yes, that's the factual story. There are a lot of explanations I could go into, but a lot of them don't make much sense to most folks.) I ran a campaign of the Mage RPG set at the Winchester House, and it was very cool when Myra started talking about a vacation in California and suggested that we could go to the house itself. It's only an hour's drive north from Monterey, so it's a good day trip.

Oh, wait - there's one obstacle left to surmount - the route. Specifically, California Route 17. Um, this road is just stupid. It's clearly a logging road that someone decided was safe for public use. It's really not. It's a roller coaster on the freaking ground. Or rather, it's a piece of pavement spaghetti that's probably four times as long as the distance between start to finish. Myra had offered to drive earlier in the morning, but I declined - seeing how comfortable I was in the adjusted cockpit, there was no reason. Midway through Route 17, Myra took that back. Apparently, she was still a bit off-put by Wednesday's boat ride, so she got a little queasy with all the twisty turns. But at the same time, we had dawdled a little bit on the way out of town, so she alternated sharing my "oh dear lord, who BUILT this" moments with "drive faster!" communiques. Not the best drive I've ever had, by any means.

However, this ordeal was not forever - and we eventually emerged into the sunny city limits of San Jose. A few wrong turns later and a few correct turns after that, we arrived safely at our destination. (Note - if the Verizon Navigator voice says "Recalculating route," or "Make the next legal U-turn," you as driver or passenger are legally allowed and obliged to tell it to go screw itself, because you already know you messed up.) We took some shots of the big sign by the road (kind of in a step-right-up circus font), and then went to the entrance to this historical site.

Wait. There's a sign up on the entryway that talks about season tickets. We stop and stare at this sign, both commenting on it. There are two reasons to do so. Firstly, the house is open every day except Christmas. So what season? The schedule of prices on the website has five time slots for the schedule of when the house opens and closes, but those are three three-month periods, one one-month period and then the rest of the year. But there's only one season pass price. So what happens if you buy one on September 10th - is it 1/3 off? But far more importantly, I can possibly see going on the tour (the only part you have to pay for) twice, just to get the details down. But it's a LOT of walking. If you're taking the tour three times, you're taking a friend who hasn't gone, and you're doing a lot of yawning. But who in their right minds is gonna go on this for three months?!? Um, if you go on the Winchester Tour five times - you're crazy enough to go off and build your own. So, after this mental stun, we enter the grounds. We stop briefly at the Winchester Gun Museum (pretty darn cool, but sorta creepy to hear a dad telling his son "Yeah, that one's cool - it's a double-barreled one." Sit in the gardens for a bit, and then our tour begins. There are technically two tours to the house, one is the house tour, and the other one is called 'Behind the Scenes' and purports to talk about Victorian plumbing, architecture and building technology.

Our tour is called, and it begins. I'll try not to give you the whole tour myself here, but just some of the highlights.

We start out in the stable area, where coaches would arrive and drop people off (workers, as she had no visitors). They have displayed the last picture ever taken of Sarah Winchester, which I immediately recognized from my own research. They also showed me something that taught me the first thing I didn't know about Sarah Winchester. To wit, she was really, really, really short. 4'10", to be precise. The stables had a door built around that frame, and it was a somewhat ugly omen to 6'1" me to wonder what perils the house would offer. (I could have relaxed, though - apparently having a house under construction implies having a lot of wide walkways and rooms.)

We visit what the house calls the $25,000 Room - because it contains original Tiffany stained glass windows that were appraised in 1922 after Sarah's death. Of course, now these windows are appraised at (I think) $1,500,000. They go over the specifics of the money that Sarah Winchester received, in addition to her significant interest in Winchester Arms - a flat payment of $20,000,000, and a daily stipend derived from investments and such in the neighborhood of $1,000 per day. (This translates from 1922 dollars to 2009 dollars as a lump sum payment of 243 million, and a daily income of 12 grand. So it's pretty competitive with today's CEO payment schemes.)

Mrs. Winchester had crippling arthritis towards the end of her life, so she had several of the stairs gutted and replaced with what are called "easy risers" - basically stairs that are about a foot from front to back and go up about two inches each step. So the stairs got turned into basically really long and winding ramps. Kinda nice to not have to sweat a staircase, actually.

That guy! Oooooo, that guy! Just knock him over for me, will you? Seriously. (There was a young man with what looked like a semi-pro camera, trailing at the end of the tour group the entire time. I think basically both of us were looking to get pictures of rooms without the people in them. So every time I waited for most people to clear out to get a shot of this room or that - there he was! That guy in the yellow jacket! Arrrrgh. I tell ya - that is why people get season passes. They want to get one dang tour where they can just take pictures. (I wonder what the guide does when they get the season ticket holder alone on a tour - they just say "Hey, you know the stuff" and walk around quietly with the guy?)

You know, really a lot of this is visual. I'll share my own pics soon, but for now, let this fine collection tide you over. But after the first coupla rooms, it's really just a matter of soaking up what the guide is telling you, and just oohing and aahing at all the weird architecture. Doors opening into walls, doors opening ten feet above sinks, doors opening on the second story of the house right out over the lawn. It's just as crazy as you always imagined.

There are thirteen bathrooms in the house. All of them have nice wooden doors - with big windows in the upper half. After seeing a few of these windows, I surmised that Sarah Winchester was so paranoid that she had those put in so that even if she were using the rest room, she could see outside the hall. Myra questioned this, suggesting that the windows were put in so us humble lookie-loos can look into said loos. It turns out later that I'm right, yet wrong - the windows were put in so that Mrs. Winchester, paranoid old soul, could keep an eye on her servants. (Maybe she was an anti-smoker.)

The tour was just about an hour and a half, and it was a lot of walking. Myra joined me for a period of sitting down - all four feets was hurtin'. The next tour starts separately from the first - and we discover the rendezvous point after Myra almost takes us all the way around the house to the front door. Hmph. We get back with a moment or two to spare, and our tour guide takes us to the stables to get our hardhats. Yep - hardhats. Apparently, we'll need them.

But really, we sorta don't. And this is supposed to be a tour more focused on Victorian architecture - but it sorta isn't. We spend a lot of time wandering around the various buildings on the grounds. The other main thing I learned about Sarah Winchester that I hadn't known before was that she was running a huge (160 acre) orchard. She shipped dried prunes and apricots nationally and internationally, and did well at it. (In addition, let's take this opportunity to remind our readers that fifteen years after she inherited control of Winchester Arms from her husband, her mother-in-law bequeathed her more shares in the company after her death. So in that fifteen years, her mother-in-law was convinced that while her passion for building strange houses was somewhat offputting, her business acumen was still very much alive and well.

We tour a plumbing supply house, we take a look at the water tank tower (where the water tank itself apparently burned down in a fire), and we check out the front gardens and the front door. Another interesting point - the Winchester House has around three different guest parlors, but there was only one person may have ever approached close enough to being called a "guest". That would be Teddy Roosevelt, who was a fan of the Winchester Rifle and (according to the story, which may be unsubstantiated) wanted to meet the owner of the company. However, apparently a worker thought Mr. Roosevelt was applying for a job, and told him to go around to the back like everyone else. He was completely insulted and immediately left - the only potential visitor rebuffed before he even got to the door.

We finally get to the house, to go into the basement. The hardhats are now on! We walk through a few cement floor rooms and halls, take a look at some of the furnaces and the foundation, and hear an obligatory creepy ghost story. Oh, and we're out again. The hardhats are now off. Boo. One more story about the front porch not being finished and the tour sorta ends with a whimper. News alert - if you go to San Jose, don't go behind the scenes. There really isn't much to look at behind the curtain.

We raid the gift shop (not gonna spoil things here, but got some pasalubong). They've closed the cafe, so it's pretty much right out the door. We have one stop before dinner, however - I did some research earlier and picked the name of a good game store in the area. And it was indeed good. VERY good selection, clean store conditions, good game room. Heavy miniatures presence, but still has a good selection of RPGs, collectible games, and board g-

Wait. That's Ticket to Ride NORDIC COUNTRIES. I can't even find that at my own local game store any more. Gimme that! And there's a seven-card expansion to Monty Python Fluxx! And there's a caramel Big Kit Kat! And a- what?

Myra wants me to buy a giant 20-sided die as a gaming souvenir. Awwwwwwww. This is just the yummiest day ever.

The cashier (a young lady with purple hair and a nose ring) is surprised - shocked, I tell you - when I mention I'm from Illinois. And then she mentions that they have open board gaming on Wednesday. (Me, I think I enjoyed the whale-watching more. Nobody has the dramatic daring to toss their cookies during an up-and-down game of Puerto Rico.)

But we leave Game Kastle with a smile on our faces and head to dinner - a local Asian-centric food service cafe called Goldilocks. I have to this moment never received a satisfactory explanation on why a restaurant that primarily offers Filipino food (but also Chinese and other Far East cuisines) chose as their symbol a fairy tale about a very picky young Caucasian girl who steals things. It makes no sense in about five different ways. But their adobo is quite comparable to the recipe Myra's mom uses (except hers is less sweetened and doesn't have -yuck- an entirely intact hardboiled egg disguised as a potato in it. But it's a yummy meal and a good close to the day in San Jose.

Then Myra falls to the allure of Haagen-Dazs mango sorbet and we stop at a Safeway. And I discover that, much to my almost-horror, that there are exactly TWO differences between this store and the Dominicks I shop at in Palatine or Lake Zurich - the integrated bank is Wells Fargo, and there's an in-house Jamba Juice in addition to the Starbucks. But everything else is near-identical, and they even take Myra's phone number for the frequent buyers' program. It's a strong testament to the homogeneity of the American shopping experience. But on reflection, I am comforted - for it speaks to a lessening of cultural divides in the future. One grocery store, one world.

Back to the resort to unload the day's haul of pasalubong, and-

Oh.

My.

GOD.

I don't believe it.

This is just ridiculous.

W-E G-O-T J-A-C-K-E-D A-G-A-I-N.

The space we parked our cart in is once again empty. This is not just stupid - it's becoming downright insulting that the resort permits this. Myra goes in, and she gives a more polite version of WTF to the desk clerk. The desk clerk can't discuss how to compensate us for all this idiotic grief - "the manager will be informed as to your dissatisfaction". Whatever. It's like a freaking used car lot in here, stolen cars and all.

We get our third cart, drive back to the room, and set down to a fine late night dessert of sorbet and letting our feet cool off. We pack a bit, sleep a bit, and then wake up again. We bid Sanctuary Resort a fond farewell. Fond for the memories of what we did and saw, unsullied by what arrogant snobs did in their careless indifference. Myra's gotten her blue sky vacation, and I've gotten a week off of work and one of the most relaxed vacations I've ever taken (as I was more involved in the planning this time, it didn't involve ten different stops per day or getting up at 6AM).

Last entry will be short - spending Friday just flying home. Thanks for keeping an ear out for what I've wanted to share with you.

Day 3: The Soft Spray of the Sea

Sat, 02 May 2009 21:22:01 GMT

When last we left our heroes, they were getting ready to drive down to the Old Fisherman's Wharf to take a three-hour long boat ride on the Monterey Princess for a whale-spotting expedition. I generously applied the 85 SPF sunscreen, while Myra maintained her religious objection on the grounds that sunburn is immoral in climates below 90 degrees. (Her nose had somewhat come down from the annoyed bee-stung-me red to a more casualwear pink.) The drive down was a bit tense, as there are two separate wharves, a bunch of docks and marinas, and a sign Myra really wanted to get a picture of that was on a busy intersection and thus hard to acquire in unobstructed form. And there's the Postgraduate Naval Academy as well, whose wrought-iron fence was extremely reminiscent of some of the rich peoples' house fences from Bully: Scholarship Edition - one of the few games Myra and I have played extensively. The second time we passed it, she asked me to sing the bike riding theme, and I knew it. (Oh, some couples build their love and shared experiences on walks in the park and sitting on lakeside benches feeding the ducks - but not us! No ho.) And in addition, there is a big pier on the wharf and a smaller pier, and both have big yellow buildings at the end. But Myra read the map right, and we got to the dock with thirty minutes to spare. (Due to a disagreement over search procedure, I was grumpy at this point - but my grumpy passes like afternoon rain - and the boat company gives free cookies! Yum.)

Two people opened the bolted door and went onto the boat early - I think they were just pushy snobs. We later had more experiences with pushy snobs - but not yet. After a while, a grizzled captain came out and gave a short speech paraphrasable as "Hey - let's be careful out there," and then he opened the bolted door and we went downstairs towards the dock. The sign on the edge of the dock door says to mind the beam - but that beam is WAY above my head. The next two beams, however, aren't enough to give Myra a problem, but many of the rest of us are bobbing and weaving like it's a slow-motion boxing match. We board quickly and are in motion within minutes. We basically drive out of the bay towards open waters, hang out in the open waters, then turn around and go back when someone throws up. I think that actually was the signal.

But soft, I should back up. When Myra and I were waiting for the boat to arrive, she suggested that it was slightly imprudent for the boat company to serve coffee and cookies before a long boat trip. I wondered why. She said people might throw up. Now I, apparently descended from hearty Finnish viking stock, have utterly no experience with seasickness or motion sickness. I barely understand how people might feel sick at all. My experience with throwing up is all food-based - I can't imagine feeling so dizzy that puking was required. Myra said she felt it sometimes, but never enough to actually lose lunch. So we talked about it for a second, and she speculated that six people might throw up on the cruise. SIX. I told her, not in so many words, that I thought she was out of her frickin' mind. I asked her for a minimum number of pukers, and told her I'd lay ten dollars down on it. She said four - but was unwilling to bet. I pressed with no result, and as we boarded the boat, the bet was unmade. We sat down on the bench on the outside of the cabin, and a woman sitting next to me put her coffee down right on the bench. Being annoyed that she might risk burning my legs with a sudden jerk of launching (as the boat hadn't moved yet), I remarked as such to Myra - but by the time the boat started moving, she had picked the coffee up again. And the boat cruise went uneventfully for about thirty minutes, after which we were far enough out that we bumped into a small grey humpback whale breaching the water straight up into the air to a height of three or four yards. Very impressive. (The rest of the whale sightings consisted of blowhole geysers. Teases.) Anyway, back to the main story - at about 90 minutes into the voyage, a young male who had been roving the deck for some time lurched out of the forward entrance to the cabin and puked on the side of the ship. Not over the railing, mind you - just straight down on the side of the ship. AND again. AND again. AND again. He clearly had no business on a three-minute cruise, let alone three hours. So he got hustled towards the back of the boat, and the noble deckhand came out with a bucket of water on a rope. Before he took the first bucketful of seawater and threw it down on the deck, he calmly advised us that maybe directly downwind and down the deck from the spill site might not be our most opportune seating arrangement right at that moment. Myra and I retreated to inside the cabin, and after a few minutes, Myra re-emerged onto the deck, which was now nice and shiny and wet. I joined a few minutes later, after the floor further up the deck had been rinsed more.

It was about this time that word reached the middle of the boat that a second vomiting had occurred, near the back of the boat. There was some speculation among Myra and myself that this was the prior vomiter, but my own instinct was that he wouldn't have gotten up off the floor if he'd still had some lunch in him. Besides, a middle-aged man had run to the snack counter at the back of the cabin while I was still inside, laid belly-down on the counter, and reached down and back to get paper towels. Nobody would do something so undignified for a complete stranger, my opinion ran. I saw an older woman in a purple coat hanging around him later, and she looked uncomfortable - so she is my prime suspect as a second puker. However, she apparently managed to put her head over the railing, as there seemed to be much less effort to clean up any mess back there. Myra looked somewhat assured that our non-bet would go her way - but the captain started talking and advised us to hold onto the rails, as he was preparing to take the ship on a 180 and begin our travel back to shore. Myra noted somewhere around this time that someone had brought a blueberry muffin on board, but had dropped it near to where I was sitting. True enough, when I discovered it, it had been under my hip for some time, and had become deformed. So the puking was not the only form of nutritive abuse, I assure you. But in any event, the cruise back was a lot cleaner and happier (as the sun was facing us this time) and a lot more quiet (apparently because the whale extras had shot all their scenes). Last notable thing that happened on the cruise was that I couldn't stop humming Sea Cruise by Frankie Ford. Myra might have been in a situation where a specific song would have similarly pervaded her consciousness, but she hadn't heard it yet.

After we got back to shore and passed once more under the two beams of death on the gangway underneath the dock, we took a stroll along the merchandising walkway of forever - the string of stores and stalls on this pier devoted to the purchase of things with the word "Monterey" printed on it. I initially considered this a prime location for souvenirs, as was its purpose, but I was eventually persuaded of two things. First, half the items I was considering for purchase were fragile enough to break during transport through airport luggage systems. Second, if you took the word "Monterey" off the item, it wasn't usually very good. In many cases, it felt like I could just go home, get a cup, write "Monterey" on the side and it would be identical. So ultimately, all the kitsch looked kind of irrelevant. So I walked up to the top of the pier, played a kick-ass game of Scrabble on my phone, and watched real pigeons pick away at the beach rocks below while the human pigeons shopped in the stores. Myra found a few diamonds in the rough, however - her reward for checking each store and a testament to her good memory in unearthing the shop with the best prices. We watched pigeons together for a bit, then walked back to the car.

Ah, the revelation.

That morning, she had expressed some degree of frustration that I had been driving the club car each day (with its pedals so close to the bench that I had to pick my leg up to change from start to stop), and she had been driving the rental. I had driven the rental once around in Seaside, but the seat had been so high and the shift console so close in that it felt very uncomfortable. And I'm already pretty tentative when I drive, and Myra isn't - when I'm comfortable physically, it gets more tentative and Myra just gets annoyed. But on the other hand, she quite fairly wanted to take pictures of the road and couldn't do so while driving. So I had already offered to drive back from the wharf, discomfort or no. It was still daylight when I opened the car door, though - so the controls were more visible. Hey - why are there two levers for moving the seat back? Pull - hey! Did the seat move up? Push - it moved down! It's sort of an air pump system - about ten pumps downward and the seat is at a FAR FAR more reasonable height. (I think one of the problems foreign car makers still have with addressing the American audience is to make cars that handle not just Americans of size, but of height. The whole bone structure of a six-foot-tall human is not made for a Corolla, in my opinion.) But anyway, having adjusted this car's seat, getting inside proved to be a satisfying fwoomf and a very comfortable cockpit. "I could drive this car for the rest of the trip!", I triumphantly declared. And, with one exception, that's what I did. We drove back to Black Bear Diner, enjoyed a second meal at this really good restaurant, and then returned back to the resort - where we made a disturbing discovery.

WE - GOT - JACKED.

Our golf cart, which we parked in the same space as the rental, was gone. The parking space we had left it in was empty. So Myra went into the lobby while I maneuvered the rental, and soon she returned, and a young man ran out a side door and jumped into a spare cart. He pulled it around and turned it over to Myra, and I parked the rental and we transferred cargo. While she drove to the room, she shared the explanation offered by the staff. Apparently the carts all have the same keylock, so someone just walked in and drove it away. *sigh* Kind of annoying, really. So we drove back to our room, our 612.

Oh, look - now our neighbors in 612-A (the larger suite) have two carts. And one looks like it's been hooked up to the wall outlet, which translates well as "it ran out of gas". And the other cart has no card in the slot where the staff drops in a card to indicate the match of cart and room number.

Oh yay - remember that I said I'd mention pushy snobs again? Apparently they saw our cart on the way in, realized that their own was mostly out of gas, and they split into two groups - one to drive their own cart back to the room (with either the somewhat good goal of charging it up, or the selfish goal of unloading whatever cargo they had), while the other followed in -our- cart and picked them up to drive hither and yon in their ill-gotten gains. So we snagged their "Privacy Please" sign, and hoped that housekeeping knocked on their door at 5AM. Ah, petty vengeance is ours!

Despite an online request to the contrary, we get no further sunset shots - awww. We sleep, we wake, we shower, we prepare for the Thursday adventures. Today is the only thing I really asked for when Myra started seriously discussing vacation, after we established that the California-Pacific Ocean interface was a little more affordable than the Hawaii-Pacific interface.

I've had a few comments of envy on our vacation surroundings. I offer sincere regrets that our current surroundings are so dang cool. :D (They are rather weak regrets, but they're sincere.)

Day 2: Sometimes, Life's a Beach

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 18:44:58 GMT

When last I left off, we were rested and starting our lively(tm) Tuesday. We kicked it off by sitting peacefully on the porch, splitting our peach-filled giant bear claw and drinking tea/coffee. We sat and just talked, watched the waves, and breathed in and out. A really great moment to remember, and savor. Occasionally, a bird would flutter by and land on the porch railing. It was kind of spooky, but Myra knew exactly how to shoo them away - by raising her camera in an attempt to take their picture. These birds were having none of that. Every single time - phwoom! They flew away. I don't think she actually got one picture of a bird in something like ten attempts. It was fun for me to watch. :)

After consuming our morning meal, we headed out from the room to check out the beach. It's a protected habitat for a few types of plants and animals, so there's a boardwalk-like Beach Access. There's an impressive "we take no liability whatsoever for ye who passes unto the path" sign, and one that talks about the rare flowers and such. The path starts out not as a boardwalk of boards per se, but rather of gravel bound in cement with a thin layer of sand on top. It'd be really nasty to take a fall there. Anyway, literally halfway down the path, the dunes have overrun the path. One of the "this is a protected flower" signs is almost completely buried. And it's...sand. Almost firm, yet untrustworthy. And it's the first time I've walked on a beach since the back surgery. So it was touch-and-go, metaphorically speaking. My feet kept landing and then sinking an extra half-inch, which was unsettling - but I maintained good balance and we walked down to the beach above the beach. (There was a semi-sharp decline between the upper beach and lower beach (the one that actually touched the water). We walked along the upper beach for a bit, and I noticed what very much looked like a shed skin from a black legless lizard (now confirmed as a distinct species from snake - but still, COME ON). Myra was not so much fascinated by it as alarmed by it, so we went the other way. There were two cinder blocks comprising a makeshift bench, and we sat down for a bit while she unwrapped her kite.

Kite flying fun to watch. It's all fluttery and breezy, and it goes - OW WAIT, RIGHT INTO THE SUN! And I only remembered my sunglasses as I was getting out of the car at Midway. So after a few pics snapped where I had no idea what I was seeing, I opted to let Myra have her fun and I read the Shadowrun main rule book. I like the quality of the paper for that book - good contrast, shiny ink. Myra attempted to distract me by getting the kite shadow to pass over me repeatedly, kind of like a ghostly Jaws - but I perservered. She got kind of distracted when another family hits the beach nearby and a father starts burying his son in the sand. She came back and told me about this, and my brain fills with a really creepy short story from the movie Creepshow with Leslie Nielsen and Ted Dansen. If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. She also told me that the kite crashed once mostly because she forgot how much hard work it is to actually fly a kite in moderate winds. So while she takes another kiteless stroll on the beach, leaving my butt to flatten against the cinder block, I keep thinking creepy thoughts about the tide. Myra actually did get struck by the tide once - she walked up to the water line, thought briefly about the action of the moon on the water. Then her feet got wet as the tide bum-rushed her. The holes in her crocs acted like tiny Playdoh Mud Factories afterwards - though she herself insisted it was not mud, but rather wet sand. After a little bit more sitting and watching the ocean, we began the short hike back. I held her shoulder a bit, as my legs were still sorta tired from the sandhike in. But I made it, took it slow, and we arrived back at the golf cart in due course. (Despite our jokes, the golf cart was neither towed nor jacked while we had left it parked curbside near to the Beach Access.)

When we arrived back at the room, Myra changed and left to go for her ritzy massage. (Apparently it was the "Nirvana" massage treatment. So it was both ritzy and a bit pretentious.) I stayed in the room, content in the shade and air-conditioned comfort with a reasonably nice beach vista only a quarter-turn of the head away should I become desirous. Didn't, though - spent a chunk of this time writing this. I'm getting the rhythm of writing game news, and I'll be more comfortable with the tools and service soon enough. I'm really starting to like the idea of contributing more directly to a gaming community; feels nice. And if you ask, like the site manager asked, what I was doing writing game news when the beach was basically three yards to my right, I will simply answer here as I answered to him there - with a link. Yeah, I'm like that.

So Myra came back from the massage all jellified and relaxed, mmmmmming up a storm. (She later went through the calculations and determined that she could get massages every day and have some money left over. Not enough to live, really - but there would be some change. So yeah, she liked it.) She knew I wasn't exactly enamored with the beach hike, but she was hankering for another while watching the waves - so she graciously offered me the opportunity to continue sitting on my butt using a laptop in the middle of a beach resort. I accepted the offer with due humility - and then went back to playing a pre-session to the Shadowrun 4th Edition campaign I'm in back home. (I executed a very smooth b-and-e on a ski lodge, which went smoothly with a bit of last-minute teamwork.) Myra returned, did a little more porch-sitting, and then the sun went down in something like twenty seconds. I got a great shot of the sunset, and Myra got a shot of murky clouds. Nyahh nyahh. :D

We then took showers, after all our beach excursions were complete. And when I came out, Myra remarked that suddenly my face looked quite pink. Remember that shiny book I was reading on the beach, and alternating between staring into the sun to find a kite? Yeah, yeah. Can't take a vacation without looking like lobster. Myra thought I burned myself in the shower - that is, until her nose started turning pink as well. Slow-acting sun, apparently.

But despite this blossoming sunburn, dinner awaited - which we decided after some haggling was this fine restaurant. Or rather, what we discovered - it's a perfectly fine semi-grungy bar. Which was fine, after we sat down and got menus. It was sorta British, in that it had dartboards all over and a can of spotted dick on the wall. But that dartboard was on a Budweiser poster, which I think would cause any good Guinness-lovin' Brit to throw up. I had a bacon burger, Myra had a blue cheese burger, and the potato Myra ordered was unavailable but still got charged to us - which the server resolved by giving us an equivalent value in military discount. So apparently I got breveted by a somewhat forgetful server. (Myra and I agreed - felt kinda scammy, when the server could have just handed us a dollar.)

Went to Walgreens to replace the diet Pepsi I took from the honor bar in a moment of weakness, and picked up some ice cream (as the pub had been getting louder through the course of the meal, so no dessert), a pair of sunglasses for me, and some SPF 85 (I don't take chances). Got home, desserted up, slept. Another day in Paradise.

Been up for a while now, getting ready for a noon excursion. I know - the suspense! We'll tell you later.

Oh, and the complimentary binoculars came in handy. Watched a boat go by. Wheee!

Day 1-2: The Long Trail to Rest

Tue, 28 Apr 2009 17:58:23 GMT

We got about three hours sleep before leaving - my strategy to avoid being awake for a four-hour flight. Mostly worked.

We packed up (two suitcases, two travel bags) into Myra's xTerra (or is that really Xterra? Or XTerra?) and drove over to my folks' place. Dad, bless his heart, was basically waiting at the door for us at 5:39AM. We swapped into Dad's car and Dad drove to Midway - and mostly in silence, as Myra and I nodded off a bit. We stepped into Midway at about 6:45, and I think we got to our gate at 6:58. And we were at the furthest gate from the door - which means that around three-quarters of the time spent was spent -walking-.

(I'm a bit jaded after our last trip out of Midway in 2007, where the line to get tickets snaked back and forth and way back into this disused luggage scanning area. It had TWO people saying "the line is better than it looks". Then there was the thirty-minute line through security.)

This time, the ticket line was more just a dodgem course through ropes, and I actually felt hustled through security. I tried to sleep in the chairs at the gate, but Myra kept waking me up to tell me I was sleeping - she pronounced it "snoring". But soon, they called for boarding passes. Myra and I were near the front of the line - but two people jockeyed themselves in front of me and made Myra stop and insist I cut back. *sigh* Anyway, she took a middle seat and asked me to take aisle. I think she was sorta creating a barrier for potential seaters. However, she failed to realize that she was creating an empty window seat, which was a commodity of some value. A gentleman who looked vaguely like Tim Robbins took it, and his main role would be to lean forward and block the entire window whenever the captain announced something to look at. "And now, if you look out the right side of the plane, you'll see - wait - oh, it's just the back of Tim Robbins' head." I slept through three hours and woke to my greatest nightmare - playing hotseat Scrabble on Myra's broke-ass DS Lite. She's waiting for the DSi to come out in pink here in America, but I may push that along a bit. It's like trying to play Scrabble from a foot above the board, dropping tiles and hoping they land in the right spot. I think I lost three turns due to time limit. Wowzers.

Stepped off the plane, out the gate, walked across the corridor, and sat down at the gate for our connecting flight from LA to San Jose. Delayed an hour - rats. So we stopped at a Starbucks, got a frappuccino and an apple gallete (which I had seen before on Good Eats), and sat down to wait. I broke out PSP Scrabble and we played hotseat - I did okay. As we waited for boarding, Myra was worried that we would be followed by some woman on the Midway-LA flight who spent two hours talking about her office budget (Myra says she was bragging to a complete stranger) and who just would not shut up - but we were much further ahead in boarding line than her, so we were safe. This time, the flight was severely underbooked - the boarding gate attendant let us know that we could each have our own row, if we wanted. So Myra took window and I took aisle. This time, we more or less stayed awake through the whole flight, and I looked at stuff in the Sky Mall catalog and laughed. (They make an astroturf mat that your pet can pee on, because there's a rubber drain tray underneath it. Apparently they want to train your pet to pee on mats.)

Yay! We've reached San Jose! Now the hour-long drive in the rental to get to the resort. And the lady at the rental counter is just weird. She asks us about the insurance THREE TIMES, tries to get us to upgrade the car, but then responds to Myra asking if she needs to show her Triple-A card by saying, "I trust you - why shouldn't I? This is California." Strange. And we had to pull over about a minute into the trip because the car had one of those goofy sorta-automatic-sorta-manual shifts. Myra handled it like a pro, though - and the trip through the California hills was nice and picturesque. Took a few - they'll be up somewhere later. We pulled up at the nicely quiet resort about 5:30 local time. Checkin was pretty painless - they give you a golf cart! We were originally slated for a partial-ocean-view room, but we asked for an upgrade and it was a reasonably small bump to get a full view. (I suspect they're underbooked right now.) Settled into the room, set up my squid and logged in to check the wireless connection. Watched Food Network for a while, then we went out for dinner.

Our original target was a nice-sounding barbecue place, Buzzard's. It's located right inside a horrific road knot, so we spent a good ten minutes driving in circles trying to find it. And it was rightly hard to find, as we basically discovered that (a) it was attached to a hotel, and (b) it appears to have been replaced by a sushi bar. The phone number was disconnected - should have called it before we left. Anyway, we drove around a little bit, looking for something a bit more regional than Denny's, and found the yummiest small local chain diner. I had the pot roast, Myra had the meat loaf, and we got this huge peach-filled bear claw to go. Nice, quiet, warm friendly place - a great closer to our first day here in cloudy California. (Except when the radio station switched briefly to Depressing Songs of the 70s. "Cat's in the Cradle", "Time in a Bottle" and "American Pie". Myra saw someone literally go up to the jukebox in hopes of a happy song.) Came back to the room, surfed and watched TV, dropped off.

This morning has been (as intended) quiet and unhurried. I've been online, Myra's been resting, and the ocean's gone by. The TV repairpeople just came in, as the TV is putting a bluish tinge on everything. (I think it's bad planning that they put it just above the fireplace, but whatever.) Myra's signed up for a massage this afternoon, but that's about it for things we plan to do. We've got one or two touristy things planned for later in the week - I won't spoil the surprise. But the complimentary binoculars just arrived - yay! But then our Internet bombed and I barely saved this post - boo.

Greetings and friendly salutations from the West Coast - where people trust unquestioningly and the highway design seems to be more or less random.

But I didn't start from there!

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 02:06:13 GMT

Been gone a while, no new news to report. But tonight, Myra and I prepare to board a plane early tomorrow for a trip to California! She's wanted a vacation for some time, and while my own life remains at a stress level low enough that no vacation is really required, I defer to her in this regard. So we're on a plane tomorrow from Midway, and I gots a new laptop to use to keep in touch while I'm there. And I'll *need* to keep in touch - more news on that tomorrow. I'll try to post here each day with the highlights (not many, as we're not going out much).

Oh, and I'm using Vista and it's okay.

JeffCon 2009: June 5 - June 7, 2009

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 18:04:16 GMT

Okay, it's official - it'll start two days after my -actual- birthday. I'm moving the pre-Con info and chatter to Facebook - it's a little easier to coordinate things there, and it's easier for people to look and see what the new information is. (Plus, it should be easier to share pics and stuff afterwards.)

For those already on FB, look for a note later today for an event page to join. For those who don't want to join Facebook (which I no longer understand so much - it's harmless, and you have a tremendous amount of control over who you interact with and who you don't), I'll post some reports here on LJ as things move forward, and make notes on the FB page to document the LJ comments.

Right now, my initial schedule framework is:

Friday, 6:00PM: Doors open for gaming, focusing on video games and some light board games. I still vainly encourage -some- Super Smash Brothers Brawl play. Level 1 and Level 2 video initiations will probably take place on PSP. Level 3 video initiation terms are pending.

Saturday, 2:00AM: Doors close for all non-residents.

Saturday, 9:00AM: Meetup at the Lake Zurich Walker Brothers restaurant for breakfast.

Saturday, 11:00AM: Doors open for gaming. Main kitchen table reserved for GoH Game Go! (More details forthcoming.)

Saturday, 6:00PM: Break for spaghetti dinner. Spaghetti and bread served, with sauce prepared at a minimum of two levels of spiciness. More pre-weekend testing on sauce spice levels will be conducted this year, with a wider sample group.

Sunday, 2:00AM: Doors close for all non-residents.

Sunday, 10:00AM: Doors open for gaming.

Sunday, 1:00PM: Start of the official GoH RPGer Go! event. (More details forthcoming.)

Sunday, 6:00PM: Earliest at which game doors would close. Probably closer to 8-9.

My two limitations for attendance are (a) I want to know roughly how much spaghetti to prepare (though as Myra will attest, I always overshoot), and (b) the apartment *WILL* only hold so many. I figure the top occupancy is probably going to be 8 in the kitchen, somewhere around 12 in the main room, and another 8 in the den. (These are rough and perhaps overoptimistic figures.) There are a number of people who pop in for only a limited time and then leave, so there will be a little fluidity beyond this apparent hard cap of less than thirty.)

Oh, and some details are still in the works, but there could be a few PRIZES this year. More details forthcoming.

I look forward to seeing any and all of you on my personal celebration of my life as a gamer.

JeffCon 2009 - 1st Entry, Nearly-The-Last Entry

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 00:15:03 GMT

I will primarily be using Facebook to organize JeffCon this year. I will put at least one more entry here for planning for people who aren't on or willing to join Facebook - but the event scheduling tools there are stronger.

View Poll: What weekend is best in life, Conan?

NOT Just a Christmas List

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 14:44:05 GMT

More just a "wanna have" list. But I've been asked, and it's useful for me to think about it.

Video Games (I have identified my system of choice for each game)

Apollo Justice, Ace Attorney for DS
Banjo & Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts for 360
Clive Barker's Jericho for PS3
Crackdown for 360
Dead Head Fred for PSP
Electroplankton for the DS (rare - eBay)
~~Fable 2 for the 360~~
Heavenly Sword for the PS3 (DON'T pay more than $25)
Left 4 Dead for 360
Lego Batman for PS3
Little Big Planet for PS3 (DON'T pay more than $40)
~~Lost Odyssey for 360~~
Mario Kart for the DS
Mario Kart Wii
~~Personal Trainer: Cooking~~
Scrabble (only released in England - eBay)
Silent Hill: Homecoming for PS3
Soul Calibur IV for PS3
Star Wars: Force Unleashed
~~You're In The Movies for the 360~~

Video Game Accessories

~~Blue 360 Controller~~
~~Green 360 Controller (it's out there, somewhere)~~
~~Red 360 Controller~~
(I don't have blue and green, but I do have four different colored controllers now.)
Playstation Network Card (just to HAVE one)

DVDs

Chasing Amy
Dead Space: Downfall
Family Guy, Volume 5
Family Guy, Volume 6
~~Monty Python Collection~~
Titanic 10th Anniversary Edition

Tabletop Games

Carcassonne Big Box (as I am now suspicious of my own set)
Ticket to Ride: Nordic Countries
Making of the President: 1960
Star Wars RPG: Scum and Villainy (Amazon doesn't carry - WEIRD)

Books

Calvin & Hobbes Collection
Far Side Collection
Sin City Library

Gadgets

Kindle
iPod with a Screen
Zune
iTunes Points Card
Remote Operable Winch
New DVD drive for my PC
Nightstand Clock Radio that gets DAMN good reception
Sirius Radio

Miscellany

~~Shoe Cleats~~
~~Thin Fingered Winter Gloves Like I Used To Have, Dammit~~

I may ADD to this list, or tweak some of the non-video game specifics - but nothing's coming OFF the list unless the item is right in front of me.

You'all Enjoy Your Party...

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 07:23:38 GMT

I feel pretty much utterly disgusted.

I was watching CNN for the evening, and that was after following coverage on NPR for the afternoon.

I don't think CNN should have called the election only 5 minutes after the West Coast polls closed. The long lines probably meant that many people hadn't voted (not just Pacific voters, but Mountain voters. Hawaii polls hadn't closed, IIRC. And the margins in many states were thin enough to resemble margins in 2000, when the election was called prematurely. Have we learned nothing?

I don't think John McCain should have given his concession speech shortly after 10PM. It was the act of a depressed and frustrated man, and it unrightfully demoralized his supporters. I thought his speech was well-written and well-delivered - indeed, it made me wonder how long he's been rehearsing it. I think that if one party in an election surrenders prematurely, it will undoubtedly skew the perception of the election and may potentially affect voters still in line at the polls.

I don't think Barack Obama should have given his speech when he did. With margins in many states still less than 5%, the lessons of Gore should have suggested patience. In terms only of his supporters and NOT of Barack Obama himself (for he is definitely a humble man, and a good man), the whole thing reeks of smugness, impatience, and an overweening sense of entitlement. I think that party could have kept going in Grant Park for a few hours more before going into the overdrive of a we-won speech.

The media wants to predict early, so that they can look prescient and scoop their competitors. Why do we buy into it? Has it become so impossible to even contemplate not just waiting until the polls have closed, but until we have 100% hard data on our hands? Can we keep the champagne on ice long enough to determine whether or not we actually won?

I think many people who have even as recently as last week described the electoral college system as fundamentally broken will be telling me this week that Barack Obama's margin in electoral votes over John McCain represents a mandate. I think the electoral college system is still badly in need of restructuring or elimination, and that the far more telling figure is the 51%-47% split in the popular vote. That's not a mandate - that's only barely avoiding razor burn.

Consider that we're waving goodbye to the worst President in living memory. We're in an economic meltdown. We're in two or three wars that are vastly unpopular. The President and the Vice-President have spent seven years accruing more and more unwarranted powers to the executive branch.

And we pull off a margin of 4%? FOUR LOUSY GOD-DAMNED PERCENT? Anyone who can call that a mandate has been staring at a mirror for the last eight years. There is an obvious and unmistakable warning to Democrats that the only way they can pull off a win is if the incumbent GOP person screws it up so bad that a five-year-old could point out the mistakes. It means that if the GOP finds two people that are remotely competent in 2012, Obama's going to be struggling.

And yet tomorrow, people will tell me that the country is a better place, that sanity has returned to American politics, and that it will all be better soon. I think I'm going to have to wait this one out. I'd just rather wait until Barack Obama alienates some of his fan base through the gentle shifts of realpolitik - because until that happens, it'll be no better than walking into an Apple Store and feeling the smug self-satisfaction in the air. That is a stench more repugnant than walking into an elevator just as four Avon ladies are walking out.

I'm honestly not even sure I want to go out again this week. I just don't want to hear it. My candidate won, my party won, my vote counted - but I feel like apologizing to someone. Apologizing on behalf of every Democrat in the country for their imminent displays of such unmitigated gall, honeyed braggadocio and self-aggrandizing hubris as to make Don King green with envy.

Honestly - I feel ashamed. It's just too much hype for me to internalize.

Cake entry still pending, but...

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 17:29:11 GMT

Myra's going to St. Louis this weekend - so I'm free to frolic with the fisheses!

I am hereby planning a trip to Guvnor's in Crystal Lake on the afternoon of Saturday, October 11th, for their fish'n'chips. I would welcome any companions for an evening's meal and fine conversation. Carpooling encouraged, and I have space for three potential co-diners.

I'm thinking of a 4PM departure time, but would modulate based on the needs of others.

Any takers, leave word here please.

Goin' to the Auction, and I'm Gonnnnna Get Monnnney

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 06:48:54 GMT

3 Ring Binder
Buncha Dice
Buncha Sleeves

LOTR CCG

Acquire
Awful Green Things
Bone Wars
Bureaucracy
Castle of Magic
Fluxx
Greed Quest
Himalaya
Jacob Marley Esq
LOTR Confrontation
Mystery Rummy 1-2
Mystery Rummy 3
Ninja Burger
One False Step
Perudo
Roborally w/Exp.
SNITS!
TTR Marklin
Warcraft BG

Dreamlands
GURPS Goblins
GURPS HighTech
GURPS Horror Scn
GURPS Inf Worlds
GURPS Lensman
GURPS Low Tech
GURPS Mage
GURPS MartialArts
GURPS Traveller
GURPS UltraTech
GURPS Vampire
Paranoia Bot Abusrs
SW Dark Side
SW New Jedi
SW Revised Rules
Vamp GM Screen
Vamp: BL Hidden
Vamp: BL Legend
Vamp: Coteries
Vamp: Ghouls
Vamp: Lancea S
Vamp: Nomads
Vamp: Ordo Dracul
Vamp: Req Rules
Vamp: VII
Werewolf Apoc

Deliciously Evil...

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 00:14:59 GMT

But once you see it, you can't just look away.

The Igor Effect

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 02:45:42 GMT

Want

MUCH

I especially like the railway rifle. The sound is so CUTE! It sounds like I'm shooting people with Ticket to Ride cards! *snicker* (And note that Mr. Burke is voiced by the same guy who voices 75% of Oblivion. Oh, and the bartender in Megaton? I think he's a zombie.) Oh, and the music is also completely awesome - makes me wish I listened to Blues Before Sunrise more.

I-want-it-I-want-it-I-want-it-I-want-it-I-want-it-I-want-it.

Launch Emergency Distress Beacon

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 16:51:16 GMT

Are you better-equipped for tech support than me? Let's find out. I've got two problems with Firefox that Internet Explorer solves. Don't know why, don't know how - and I'd RATHER not be using something as vulnerable as IE.

1) When I look at Myra's Myspace page (not anyone else's, and it doesn't matter if I'm logged in or not), it's like there's a glass wall between me and any links - nothing is active. I click ANYWHERE, and I'm launching that bogus crapware Antivirus XP popup window.

2) I can't look at Adobe Flash videos in Firefox any more. Have no idea what minor update did it, but suddenly comedycentral.com is telling me to download it. I download it, install it - and nothing happens. I download the UNINSTALLER, get rid of it, re-install it - and nothing happens. And it IS the Opera/Netscape version I'm downloading. When I download the IE version, IE auto-detects the download and handles it inside the freakin' BROWSER window. What's up with IE out-cooling FF?

I'll take questions here, so that more people get more information. Any clues, anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Too Damn Late: Midwest Edition, Episode 001

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 09:56:49 GMT

Mooing around Gamespot a bit, thought I'd put down what games I'm thinking about for the rest of the year:

Force Unleashed for 360
Force Unleashed for PS3
(haven't decided which system to get that one for)
Silent Hill 5: Homecoming for PS3
Motorstorm 2 for PS3
(renting this one - if it doesn't support two player split-screen, no way)
Monopoly for Wii
(definitely an addition to my board-game-on-TV collection)
Fable 2 for 360
(Pub Games rocks)
Fallout 3 for PS3
(Getting it on PS3 instead of 360 because my copy of Oblivion for 360 crashes the dang machine)

One-Weekend-Long Game Review: Too Human for X360

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 09:20:35 GMT

Too Human is a Diablo-like RPG (and I use that term as the video game industry uses it - to wit, the central character has stats and traits which increase over time in a user-defined manner) for the 360. It's developed by Silicon Knights, the same people who did the truly awesome game for Gamecube called Eternal Darkness. It's been more or less "meh"ed by the gaming media, and I wanted to post my thoughts for those considering this as an option.

First, as my wife will attest with some lamentation, it did indeed hold my attention for long periods of time this weekend. So it's got some visceral grab to it - you do indeed want to keep playing it. Of the usual $60 retail price, I'd estimate that I right now have that down to about $5 an hour, and if I play it another weekend, I'll have the cost-per-hour of entertainment below $3.50, which is where you tend to beat most first-run movies. You die a bit from time to time, but the curve of the game falls well below frustration threshold.

Second, it's over too fast. It's only got four acts, and Act 1 is pretty much just the tutorial/demo with some gravy. It's explicitly ended as a sequel-embryo, with the game's major enemy escaping and some foreshadowing that you'll fight big-ass giants in Game 2. (Though I think they'd better think on the title to the sequel - Too Human Two is gonna be called 2 Legit 2 Quit, and Two Too Human is just too too awful.) But Acts 2, 3 and 4 are roughly the same length, and each one will probably take a four-hour game session. Not awful.

Third, it definitely shows its Diablo roots. It's the same menu system for five classes, and the gear is definitely the same style, with Runes fitting into items and items having several different levels of rarity and set items also in the mix. But they've added some things here and there, like runes that fit into runes. (Not sure what that does, though, as you can't look at a rune-with-runes and see it display the powers of all the encapsulated runes.) They have replaced all D2's "slightly" and "moderately" with "3%" and "9%". They also have the ability to turn on a HUD-based DPS counter, so for you WoW folks, it's got you covered. (I suspect that this interface is just as derivative of WoW as D2X, but hey - I'm going with what I know.)

Fourth, combat is a hoot - but it lacks a big differential in style for the five classes. I played the gun class (commando) from start to finish, and now I'm doing the close-in fighter (berserker). The gun class is a lot of distancing and holding down the trigger with sweeps of the R stick, and the melee class is a trippy run-and-punch style that keeps you flying across the board. But I've already seen that you have to fight the Act 2 boss (Hoder, referred to here as Hod) exactly the same way (and worse yet, you CAN'T melee him during the setup fights), and I don't think the three other classes (tank, generalist and healer) are going to feel all that functionally different from the scrapper. And the 'alignments' (to wit, whether or not you get all cybered up) are mere add-ons to these two combat styles. If you're going to go run-and-gun, the cyber route gives you the best guns. If you're going to play pinball with goblins, the Human route gives you the best combos. So for five classes and two alignments, I think the game feels a lot less diversified than it wants to be.

Fifth, it is NOT a game that particularly demands co-op. It is designed for it, and rewards it (with two achievements specifically designed for it, but one of those I already have by accident). But especially for the gun class, it is eminently soloable. Heck, when I loaded my commando in a second game, he soloed Act 1 without dying at all. (A slight letdown for us D2X fans is that there is no Normal-Hell-Nightmare divisions - you can play as much as you want whereever you want, and the buggies just get level-bumped accordingly. (I note, however, that WITHOUT those distinctions, you more or less just feel like you're grinding when you load up a character who's finished the storyline already.)

Sixth, the writing isn't exactly stellar, but it isn't 'laughable' as I've seen some commentators describe. It's serviceable, but with only two or three surprises and two of those foreshadowed enough to not be surprises at all. So while the concept is neat (super-modern Viking gods beating up robots), it's not explored all that uniquely. (I would particularly advise TH2 developers to more fully explore how the world got from us to them, as it is more or less explicitly set in the far future with the we-can't-build-the-uber-tech-any-more-bad-future spin.) Many of the characters are cardboard, but some are a bit deeper. It will be honestly interesting to see how TH2 spins the ending for the main character (since it is indeed a bit creepy to realize that you've been dead).

Overall, here's my final reviews:

If you like D2X, it's well worth a $5 rental for a long weekend. Pick your favorite class and alignment, and finish the game storyline once. You'll rack up around 400 Achievement points, and you'll see most everything the game has to offer.

If you liked D2X so much that you ran out of people who wanted all your spare Stones of Jordan, this has the loot tables and customization you've been dreaming of, and it's stapled to a combat system that is a little more in-depth than the point-and-click you knew before. Some enemies require hit location targeting, and you can even knock a few enemies off bridges to their doom. (Easier said than done, though.)

If you like Eternal Darkness, please buy this game so that Silicon Knights can get through the TH2 and TH3 games they're talking about and get BACK to making ED2. (It seems more in line to say NOT to buy TH1 so that they give up on TH2 and 3 and just start ED2, but that risks killing the game studio as well.)

It's not a compelling reason to buy a 360 (just get Titan Quest if you're jonesing for D2.5X), but if you own a 360, it's worth at least some attention.

I'm Jeff Bailey, and this is what's in my head. Contents may have settled during shipping.

Jeff Goes to GenCon: What's He Gonna Do?

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 09:44:02 GMT

Well, given that I registered for Gencon during Origins, I was kind of last in line. Still, I think I'm happy with the events I managed to get:

Thursday, 8AM: Hunters, the Vigil (Faces in the Crowd)
Thursday, 4PM: Fae Noir (Murder on the Midnight Express)

Friday, 10AM: Cthulhutech (Cartesian Symphony)

Saturday, 10AM: Star Wars LARP: Hidden Fortress
Saturday, 6PM: Ars Magica (New World, New Blood)

A non-WW LARP is always a treat. :) Ideal time for people staying for the whole con to set up a meet: Friday, 2:30. Ideal time for Saturday-only people (hello, Dennis) to set up a meet: Saturday, 2:30. I'll probably be in the dealer's room and the board game room more this year than at other GenCons, but the only thing I'm looking to pick up is Out of the Box's Ninja versus Ninja. (Might talk myself into getting another roll-em-up map for choo-choos and crayons, though.)

JeffCon Sunday: Ex Post Facto

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 09:38:05 GMT

I gotta start writing these things closer to the event.

Look, folks - all I remember about Sunday was that the Pillars of the Earth expansion was played for the first time, I saw Chey and met his girlfriend Chris (who seemed insistent on being introduced as "the new girlfriend" for some reason), Mr. Montague managed to put in an appearance just before I closed the show, we played Brian's copy of Mario Kart Wii enough that it now shows up on my Nintendo Channel review list even though I myself never played it (but Mr. Walker basically stayed up all night clearing it), and I had a lot of fun.

Another JeffCon, another year. The year was great, the JeffCon was great. Here's to next year, noble ladies and gentlemen.

And again - any memories you have of Sunday, please share. All I gots left are snatches of detail and a pleasured haze. Call it the Grand Prize of JeffCon 38. :D

"Sixteen tons, whaddaya get? Another day older and deeper in debt."

JeffCon Saturday, More Than A Fortnight Later - Train-ing

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 04:45:47 GMT

Saturday is, of course, the big day. I started out at about 9AM, rousting myself for the new tradition: breakfast at Walker's. Myra sleepily mumbled something about going and enjoying myself (or at least 'go something yourself' when I tried to wake her at 9AM on a weekend). Rian had expressed some interest - but upon being informed that it would involve getting dressed and going out, he changed his mind (or rather, he shrugged - Rian had just finished something like 30+ hours of being up and around). So Walker and I rode out to meet the madding crowd of Dennis, Brian, and whomever else might show up.

That turned out to be (at the start) nobody. Met Brian and Dennis there, and we snagged a table pretty much immediately. I still think Walker's has some of the best interior decoration around, with the warmly varnished wood and the stained glass. We all sat down and I once again made my appeal for sanity as it regards the 49ers. (To wit, why mess around on Mount Olympus and order the chicken when the ambrosia is waiting for you.) Lots of coffee, buttery syrup, and some of the best conversation around a breakfast table. Midway through the meal, Mike Selk joined us, and ordered the waffles despite my protestations. Some people. Anyway, we passed the time in the fine company of friends, and returned back to the apartment around 11.

I knew that the game of Iron Dragon that Dennis had requested should be started immediately. But Noel'n'Rich'n'Kat had not yet arrived - so there was a brief interval. I took the opportunity to start the second batch of spaghetti sauce - with the first batch already finished and easily loaded into the crockpot. I believe that (until I will later stand corrected) Barry, Rich, Noel and Kat more or less arrived in a bundle. And so the Iron Dragon table was formed: Dennis, Brian, Rich, Noel, Kat and Brian Walker. (I want to once more thank everyone at that table for introducing Mr. Walker to choo-choos-and-crayons, which makes it possible to bring it down to St. Louis to play.) Barry, Mike and I were separate, and I began cooking in earnest. After some good games of Carcassonne, Mark and Ananda arrived to join us. The Carcassonne game expanded to four, and I maintained the happy labor of flitting between tables and moving the sauce towards completion. It's very much a Saber Dance feeling, kind of like a magic show. (It's not particularly stunning magic, but it makes me happy.)

I would like as many players in the Iron Dragon game as possible (with the note that Dennis isn't in town right now) to post full reviews of the Iron Dragon game. It was (as many multi-hour multi-player games are) a game of some frustration and many highlights (including the BIZARRE fixation on Eaglehawk - I'll find the picture I took and post it as a comment). It was (as many multi-hour multi-player games are) a game with some extreme cases of downtime. In fact, the downtime was SO extreme in some cases that players not only got in games of Peggle, but (after dinner) we went shopping.

But that skips the dinner - or otherwise known, spaghetti arrabbiata. I gave each of the four batches I had pre-made an extra hit of red pepper. But I goosed up one of the batches with a few more pinches of red pepper and some cumin, and then the last batch got the pepper, the cumin and then some ground habanero pepper. I stowed this last batch when I realized I'd only need three batches to feed everyone - and the common review was that even my regular batch was pretty darn spicy. And while many people reported enjoying the sauce as usual (including Barry's thumbs-up to the spice and encouragement to let the spice mature over a day or two before serving, and Dennis' note that this was perhaps the only spaghetti sauce he had enjoyed in recent memory), I will probably tone it back down a little for JeffCon 2009. And the whole thing was a little late, as I carbonized some of the sauce from the first batch and spent an extra HOUR cleaning the pot. (And now the pot is more or less ruined - next batch is still covering the bottom of the pot.) But serving my spaghetti dinner is always my own highlight of JeffCon - it's when the whole thing comes together, as far as I'm concerned. Yeah, the games are fun. Yep, I totally enjoy showing off my toys. But it's the dinner. It really is.

After dinner, the ID game continued, and Noel realized that she could combine a breath of fresh air with a trip to Games Plus to pick up the expansion for Pillars of the Earth. I myself welcomed it after cooking for several hours, and Barry was happy to join us. He recommended an unusual alternate route to GP - but I think it's a route more for approaches from other directions. (It involves passing up 83 and going out to Mount Prospect Road.) We arrived to find GP locked, but a clear amount of gaming in the back. We took the initiative and called the store (which involved both satellites and a distance of ten to fifteen yards), and they let us in. Noel picked up the game (using Dennis' gift certificate, I believe), and we turned around and returned home. Noel had instructed Mark (who graciously covered Noel's slot) with directions that covered two turns, with limited authorization to improvise after that. Upon Noel's return, Mark informed her that it was almost (but not quite) her second turn. The game extended on for what I believe was over ten hours (or approximately one hour and forty minutes per player). Other people came and went, many a cigarette was smoked out on the balcony, and quite a few people played Peggle. (I was just happy to get off my feet. :D ) Mr. Selk left early to return to his house for his own Saturday night get-together, and the chairs and table I had requested were idle - I think I'll do better to set the table up beforehand next time, as an encouragement.

And again, please correct me on any detail I screwed up, and supply any detail I omitted. Any memory you have of Jeffcon, please put it here to share and I'll add it. I forget a lot - especially this late. *sigh*

Next entry coming...well, at least after people respond to this one. :)

Yeah, that's about right

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 06:40:50 GMT

Your result for The Best Thing About You Test...

Humility

Humility is your strongest virtue. You are humble.

Humility is the defining characteristic of an unpretentious and modest person, someone who does not think that he or she is better or more important than others. And you? When you do the right thing, you're doing it for all the right reasons. All 7 virtues are a part of you, but your humility runs deepest.

It is likely you're a quiet type. But if not, then you just have dark, secret side that loves to give.

Humble famous people: JD Salinger, Isaac Newton, Harry Potter (pre-puberty)

Your raw relative scores follow. 0% is low, and 100% is perfect, nearly impossible. Note that I pitted the virtues against each other, so in some way these are relative scores. It's impossible to score high on all of them, and a low score on one is just relatively low compared to the other virtues.

YOUR VIRTUES

63% Humility

60% Compassion

56% Honesty

44% Intelligence

29% Courage

25% Passion

0% Discipline

Take The Best Thing About You Test at HelloQuizzy